An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
