My hand turned me down
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
tell me about the fingering
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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