i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
