I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
