Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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