It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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