Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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