ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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