we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
should my penis look like a turkey
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
