goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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