SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
