Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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