Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
