she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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