I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
