I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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