I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
