You're my little dorito
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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