Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
