i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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