so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
