worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
