so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
