Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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