just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize