I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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