Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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