why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
