I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
