Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
