I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize