We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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