The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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