You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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