Do vagina's smell?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You made out with two different species that night
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
