My brain says no but my pants say off.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
