Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
