I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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