We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Randomize
