Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He felt like a one man threesome
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
