Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We need to rekindle our bromance
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
