i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
