I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
