i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
