wanna go halves on a baby?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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