I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
