why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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