they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
