I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize