The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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