My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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