During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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