found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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