So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Couch. On fire.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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