i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Can you repeat that, but with context?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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