I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
