Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
