Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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