Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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