I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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