Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
