My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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