I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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